I have a confession to make.
I am not perfect. I do not have it all together. As a matter of fact, I don't have anything together.
I know, shocking, right?
At this point I'm pretty sure if anyone is actually reading this they are rolling their eyes. I have that effect on people. Just kidding. But seriously. Feel free to quit reading my ramblings at any moment. I'll never know, I promise.
*disclaimer* I am in no way saying not to talk to me. I am always available and willing to spend time with and invest in you. I just think that sometimes you're looking for answers in the wrong place.
A friend told someone the other day that I'm always in an awesome mood and never have any problems to talk about. Another friend told me I can have any guy I want on campus. People (sometimes) seem to think I'm awesome. I don't really know where they get this idea from. In my mind, I am the frazzled, tired, super busy girl who may or may not be wearing makeup/have done something with the hair/have matching socks. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know where I'm going half the time (thank goodness my mind sends me to the right buildings out of habit!). There are plenty of days when I feel awesome, on top of things, and attractive. And then there are days when all I hope is that no one will talk to me, nothing will come up, and I can hide in 203 for hours. However, the Lord hasn't called me to be a hermit (big shocker, huh?). I thrive on people, and I want each and every one of you to know just how absolutely wonderful and worth it you are. I'm in a great mood most of the time because I'm surrounded by the awesome creations of the Lord, and it honestly blows my mind. Sometimes I feel like I have to hold it together for the sake of all those around me, and at the same time I feel like everyone can that that is all I am trying to do. I love you all dearly, believe me, but I cannot be what you think you need me to be. You all don't need me. I can't hold it together for you. If you look up to me, I promise you'll be disappointed. The Lord created you, and He loves you more than you can even begin to imagine. He is singing over you in the stars, in the wind, in the leaves changing colors. He wants to be the One you depend one, and He wants you to realize that you are valuable and adored. There is nothing more satisfying that coming to that awesome realization. I wish this for each and every one of you, which is why I try to convey my love for you continually, but again, I can't do it all, I can't be it all for you.
But I can always show you who can.
<3
