Are we good enough for each other?

(yay for the first post of 2012 finally making an appearance!)

Why can we never be good enough for one another?

We can't play the right sports, wear the right clothes, sit at the right table, live in the same dorm, have the right major, have the right job, etc.

I don't get it. I really don't. All I know is that the Lord called us to love one another, and stereotyping and discriminating are not ways to accomplish this. I am by no means saying that I'm great at loving other. I'm just really tired of having to constantly defend one friend to another. I understand that no everyone gets along. I just wish people would stop assuming that where someone lives, how they dress, or if they like videos games defines them.

I go to a Christian college. One would think that everyone here is friends with everyone. That we all love one another. That we are all seeking to grow together as a Body. But the more people I meet, and the more friends I make, the more I realize this isn't true. Christians have just as many cliques as everyone else. Maybe more. Why is it that we can't see past the surface, or even the rumored stereotypes, and love people for who they are? The Lord has created each and everyone of them-and us-as unique and valuable individuals. We weren't meant to be defined by our lunch tables, our jobs, or our dorms. We were meant to be defined by who we are in Christ, and we were meant to show that value and that love to the rest of the world. Why should anyone consider following Christ if those who already do are just as mean, catty, and rude as everyone else? Why aren't we different?

Jesus didn't hang out with the cool crowd. Jesus hung out with sinners, taxcollectors, orphans, and widows. The social rejects. So maybe it's time we stopped rejecting them and started befriending them and getting to know them. It's time we stopped forcing people to try and be good enough for us.


It's time to love.

I don't know what I'm doing

I have a confession to make.

I am not perfect. I do not have it all together. As a matter of fact, I don't have anything together.

I know, shocking, right?

At this point I'm pretty sure if anyone is actually reading this they are rolling their eyes. I have that effect on people. Just kidding. But seriously. Feel free to quit reading my ramblings at any moment. I'll never know, I promise.

*disclaimer* I am in no way saying not to talk to me. I am always available and willing to spend time with and invest in you. I just think that sometimes you're looking for answers in the wrong place.

A friend told someone the other day that I'm always in an awesome mood and never have any problems to talk about. Another friend told me I can have any guy I want on campus. People (sometimes) seem to think I'm awesome. I don't really know where they get this idea from. In my mind, I am the frazzled, tired, super busy girl who may or may not be wearing makeup/have done something with the hair/have matching socks. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know where I'm going half the time (thank goodness my mind sends me to the right buildings out of habit!). There are plenty of days when I feel awesome, on top of things, and attractive. And then there are days when all I hope is that no one will talk to me, nothing will come up, and I can hide in 203 for hours. However, the Lord hasn't called me to be a hermit (big shocker, huh?). I thrive on people, and I want each and every one of you to know just how absolutely wonderful and worth it you are. I'm in a great mood most of the time because I'm surrounded by the awesome creations of the Lord, and it honestly blows my mind. Sometimes I feel like I have to hold it together for the sake of all those around me, and at the same time I feel like everyone can that that is all I am trying to do. I love you all dearly, believe me, but I cannot be what you think you need me to be. You all don't need me. I can't hold it together for you. If you look up to me, I promise you'll be disappointed. The Lord created you, and He loves you more than you can even begin to imagine. He is singing over you in the stars, in the wind, in the leaves changing colors. He wants to be the One you depend one, and He wants you to realize that you are valuable and adored. There is nothing more satisfying that coming to that awesome realization. I wish this for each and every one of you, which is why I try to convey my love for you continually, but again, I can't do it all, I can't be it all for you.

But I can always show you who can.

<3

Art Majors FTW

I love being an art major. Why is that, do you ask?


I will tell you.


1. We do things like pull up virtual fireplaces whilst we critique.


2. We don't have very many midterms, and when we do, our profs tell us to use fake names and draw pictures to go along with the questions.


3. We get to play with dangerous chemicals on a regular basis. We also stand around and chat in the dark room next to said chemicals, with little ventalation. We did actually wear gloves today, though, which is an improvement.


4. Star Wars font!


5. Studying: Optional


Win? I think yes.

Part Two: I'm Not Very Good at this Christian thing

I've been meaning to write this for over a week now, but art eats my life sometimes. Most days all I really want to do is take a nap. Anyways, I'm sure you're dying to see my new list (I love lists. I think it has to do with being left-handed?), so here you are:

1. I haven't read Crazy Love all the way through. I started it, I really did, and I had every intention of loving and finishing it. That didn't happen. In all honesty I was bored by chapter three. It's sitting on my shelf here at school, begging to be read and appreciated. Maybe someday...

2. I haven't read Radical. I also find David Platt to be a bad public speaker. No, it's not the fact that he has a lisp. I just wasn't as rivited as I had expected.

3. I have never been prayer walking. Actually, I hadn't even heard of it before I came to school. It's pretty popular. Almost as populer as Chacos...

4. Some sort of religious programming came on TLC the other day, and I switched to Disney channel. I don't really think any other explanation is needed here.

Hey, at least I'm not cliche...right?

I'm not very good at this Christian thing...

...I'm also not very good at blogging. However, I only know one person who updates her blog on a regular basis, so I'm not overly concerned.

Anyways, being back on the Baptist campus has reminded me of something: I'm not the greatest at this whole Christian thing. Why, do you ask?

1. I hate journaling. And by hate, I do mean hate. Which makes blogging seem ironic. I dunno. Something about writing about my feelings and such just does not appeal to me. I used to by journals and notebooks a lot, because they're super cute, but it has turned out to be futile.

2. I own neither Toms nor Chacos. I would love to buy some Toms, I just have no money. No offense to the 945 students here who wear them, but Chacos are not attractive. I know it makes you look like Super-outdoor-missiounary-adventure-Christian, but I just can't take them seriously. I think I wore sandels similar to those in...fourth grade.

3. I cannot play the djembe. If Jesus was musically inclined, this is what He played. I'm pretty sure at least one of the twelve probably did as well. I'm not sure how the djembe ended up with the honor of being one of the top holy instruments, but it's definitely not in my area of expertise.

4. I have never played guitar whilst sitting around a campfire. However, I'm taking a guitar class this semester, so this one is attainable!

5. I don't get up early for quiet time. I also didn't get up in time for class the other day...but I think God understands some people's extreme need for sleep. Besides, He's around all day.

6. I fail at intense mission experiences. This one needs explaning. On my mission trip this summer we went to a memorial site that happened to be a graveyard. I, in my skewed perspective of reality, happened to reallyyy like graveyards. I was super excited to be going to one, whist my team was all serious and prayerful. I was literaly trying to disguise my happiness, since I figured it would probably be frowned upon.

I'm sure there's more, but this is my current list. I don't really know how the people around me perceive my spiritual life, but hopefully they aren't judging me by my lack of "spiritual" footwear. I guess it's a good thing God doesn't actually require any of this stuff, huh?

Here I am again...

...in the same place as last year. Well, almost. One week until I leave again. I should probably start packing...I have a new roommate, new hallmates, new classes...it's like a never ending cycle that at the same time is a ticking time bomb. I don't know where last year went. I don't even know where this summer went. I'm also sounding depressed, and I'm not haha

The best thing about a new school year is getting to buy more stuff. Not that I need more stuff, but I just can't hep it sometimes. I walk into Walmart and see all that nifty color-coordinated stuff, and then I stand there trying to think of what I could possibly do with it, just because it's cool looking...

Lap giraffes!

So I don't think this is real...but it would be the coolest thing ever! Also I felt bad that I haven't posted anything in FOREVER...in my defense, not a lot has happened lately. The excitement starts in a week and a half when I go see the old roommate and go back to school:)
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2jaTDm/www.petitelapgiraffe.com

Church Camp High

This last week we went to church camp. I wasn't just not posting like usual :P. It was a good but extremely hot week, and I got to see many old friends and make a few new ones, but it felt like something was weird. It seemed kind of...blah.

I did not get the "church camp high." You know, where you go to camp and come home all "yay Jesus" and stuff for a few weeks. I didn't have any revelations of life changing decisions.

Why? It's definitely not because I'm just so absolutely perfect that I don't need to change a thing. Maybe it was just the fact that I was sick 76% of the time due to the extreme temperatures. Maybe it was the fact that compared to last month's trip to South Dakota, this week was rather tame and predictable. Maybe it was all those times my campus pastor talked about falling in love with the "everyday life Jesus" instead of "Super Summer Jesus." Maybe they just didn't touch on anything I really struggle with. Maybe it's because I was concerned with trying to fix a few other people instead of myself. Maybe it was the fact that I learned so much more in one year of college than I've learned in ten years of church camp.

I don't know why. I really don't. All I know is that I thought I was going to die all week and for the first time was really glad when Friday finally made an appearance. I definitely had, in the words of Ethan, the "camp hangover."

I had fun, and I miss everyone, I really do. I just didn't feel it this year.

Mixed emotions at 12:23 am.

We are two weeks away from the end of school. This year has gone by really fast and really slow at the same time. It has been totally incredible, but I kind of feel like we are on a bomb timer or something. We only have four years to smoosh in as much fun, adventure, and quality time as possible. I'm ready to go home, to see my family, to make money, have a large closet, escape the drama, and to sleep. On the other hand, I'm not ready to say good bye to Taco Bell, my classes, my church here, or friends that have become like family.

At the beginning of this year I didn't know what would happen. I knew approxamately five people, didn't know how to take notes, and had no idea how everything was going to fit in our dorm room. I always imagined college being fun, but it has definitely exceeded expectations. I've met literally hundreds of wonderful people, gotten to know God on a whole new level, and learned how to calculate the last possible second I can get up in order to be places on time.

On a random note, since being here, my hair decided to change color.

I am both excited and a little afraid for this year to end. Excited, because there will be more people to connect with, and more opportunities next semester. Afraid, because some won't be returning, and I don't want to lose those relationships. Excited, because I get to go home and reconnect with everyone. Afraid, because I know they've all continued their lives just fine without me.

Also, I'm not sure my car will make it all the way home...

But I guess it doesn't matter what I think. The year is ending whether I want it to or not. No use dwelling on it, I suppose. After all...

Adventure is out there!

Real life?

When I and my friend graduated high school we were all pretty freaked out about starting "real life" out in the "real world." Ha. Now I'm sorry I wasted the energy on it, because it's just going to happen all over again in a few years. College is not real life. College is nice, safe, and tidy. College comes with premade food options three times a day. College comes with maintenance crews. College comes with security patrols. During the day our biggest worries are surviving classes. In the afternoons we are concerned with do we get naps, and just how long can we stay in the faculty parking lot before we get caught? In the evenings the biggest problem is Ihop or movie, and going to bed before three A.M. Somehow I don't think this is real life. Which is totally fine with me. If I could afford it I'd be tempted to become a "professional student." Because with real life comes difficulties and good byes. On a large scale. I realized as soon as I entered college that there will be nothing but weddings and good byes for the next several years (those two things aren't connected BTW). A few friends left last semester, and a few even better friends are leaving after this one. Sometimes I wonder what the point of the relationships is if they are never going to last. But I'm starting to realize that all these encounters make us who we are. Even the brief ones. Each person has something unique to bring to the table, a different take on life. It is these perspectives that keep life interesting. And I like interesting, so I guess I won't become a hermit after all.

Sigh...

I'm sure I'll be all excited again next week. Ok, I know I will. Just not right now. Mainly because I went to Dollar General for the last time. You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Ask the best friend. She wanted to give the lady a hug. We kind of like Dollar General. In case you didn't know, they carry bubbles, silly string, egg dye, coloring books, water ballooons, stickers, and really cute mini staplers, scissors, and tape. There are great stories behind each of those items, let me assure you. We like Dollar General.

Also, if you've never played the game of Life, you really ought to. For hours. On end. And name every single one of those little plasitc people. Ok, maybe it's just because we live in a small town with nothing better to do. Today contained the most depressing game of Life ever. We finished, and then all just sat there looking at each other. And then we all started laughing and crying at the same time. Partly because the best friend said she's going to have life tourney's at school, and the little brother thought we were crazy and told us to just cry and get it over with. So we did. And now, here I sit.

I am super excited for college. True story. But I'm also going to miss you guys like crazy. Ok, that's my emo rant for the day. I'm done now:)

Death by towels...

This whole going-to-college thing is a lot more complicated than it should be. I'm somehow supposed to fit my life in half a dozen rubbermaid containers. Plus a fridge. A toaster. An iron. An ironing board. A guitar. All the extra shoes that won't fit in my shoe thing. And it all has to fit in the back of Joe. (Joe is the name of my car, BTW.) HA. I don't even have room for all my towels. Ok, slight exageration. But seriously. I am set for life. Not really on towels, but on washcloths. No lie. I'm leaving half of them here for Mom to quilt for the homeless of Oz. Because they all match. No worries there. My chair and my comforter are the exact same color. Which is awesome. My life may be smooshed into my car, but it will all color coordinate. Maybe this whole packing thing isn't so bad, after all.