I don't know what I'm doing

I have a confession to make.

I am not perfect. I do not have it all together. As a matter of fact, I don't have anything together.

I know, shocking, right?

At this point I'm pretty sure if anyone is actually reading this they are rolling their eyes. I have that effect on people. Just kidding. But seriously. Feel free to quit reading my ramblings at any moment. I'll never know, I promise.

*disclaimer* I am in no way saying not to talk to me. I am always available and willing to spend time with and invest in you. I just think that sometimes you're looking for answers in the wrong place.

A friend told someone the other day that I'm always in an awesome mood and never have any problems to talk about. Another friend told me I can have any guy I want on campus. People (sometimes) seem to think I'm awesome. I don't really know where they get this idea from. In my mind, I am the frazzled, tired, super busy girl who may or may not be wearing makeup/have done something with the hair/have matching socks. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know where I'm going half the time (thank goodness my mind sends me to the right buildings out of habit!). There are plenty of days when I feel awesome, on top of things, and attractive. And then there are days when all I hope is that no one will talk to me, nothing will come up, and I can hide in 203 for hours. However, the Lord hasn't called me to be a hermit (big shocker, huh?). I thrive on people, and I want each and every one of you to know just how absolutely wonderful and worth it you are. I'm in a great mood most of the time because I'm surrounded by the awesome creations of the Lord, and it honestly blows my mind. Sometimes I feel like I have to hold it together for the sake of all those around me, and at the same time I feel like everyone can that that is all I am trying to do. I love you all dearly, believe me, but I cannot be what you think you need me to be. You all don't need me. I can't hold it together for you. If you look up to me, I promise you'll be disappointed. The Lord created you, and He loves you more than you can even begin to imagine. He is singing over you in the stars, in the wind, in the leaves changing colors. He wants to be the One you depend one, and He wants you to realize that you are valuable and adored. There is nothing more satisfying that coming to that awesome realization. I wish this for each and every one of you, which is why I try to convey my love for you continually, but again, I can't do it all, I can't be it all for you.

But I can always show you who can.

<3

Lap giraffes!

So I don't think this is real...but it would be the coolest thing ever! Also I felt bad that I haven't posted anything in FOREVER...in my defense, not a lot has happened lately. The excitement starts in a week and a half when I go see the old roommate and go back to school:)
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2jaTDm/www.petitelapgiraffe.com

For sale!

I have my own store! Well, kind of. It's a really neat website where you can turn photos and art into super cool products. I have a few things up now, working on more. Check it out!

www.zazzle.com/victorianphotosplus*

Also, be sure and add * at the end of the link. I hear it's important.

And be sure to check out "Victorian Photography" on Facebook:)

Faaaan Paaaage!

To whom it may concern (AKA the world):

I have a photo fan page on Facebook.

You should check it out. And "like" it.

"Victorian Photography"

The profile picture is a nice tipi. Check it.

Now.

:)

A brief summary of aforementioned mission trip

Sunday and Monday, due to heavy rain, we
stayed inside and worked in the Dream Center. We sorted donations, painted
walls, put office furniture together, and stained the floor. It was a great
time of coming together as a team and just working for the Lord.

Tuesday we went to the town of Wounded
Knee, where we prayer walked, fed children lunch, played with, and loved them
all afternoon. Thursday we did the same in the town of Evergreen. These
children have incredibly difficult lives. On average, they begin drinking at
the age of five, and join gangs by age nine. One six year-old girl told us that
her fifteen year-old brother had been killed in a gang fight just a few days
previous. I got a chance to talk with some of the mothers, and one of them told
me that many of the kids around us did not have fathers, and several lived with
aunts or grandparents.

On Wednesday we
went to White Clay, Nebraska. It is located right across the border and just
off the reservation. It is basically a large collection of bars and liquor
stores. Its purpose is to provide the Natives from the “dry” reservation with
alcohol. Many people choose to stay in this town, and sleep in ditches and on
sidewalks. Business owners in White Clay make an average of $7 billion a year.
We served lunch at a small ministry on the main street and talked with some of
the “residents.” Their stories were unbelievable and heartbreaking. We were
going to actually go out onto the streets after lunch, but a fight broke out in
front of the building, and we ended up sneaking out the back door. It was not
an experience I’d like to repeat.

Overall, the week was
eye-opening and awesome. Our team became very close, and caught a small glimpse
of the Body of Christ laughing, crying, working, sweating, and wondering as
one. The Lord showed us how to worship Him in everything-from feeding a hungry
child to scrubbing concrete. We truly serve an amazing God.

Ilikelistsalongwithattiteration

1. If you can read the title, I applaud you.
2. Since falling in the river, the battery life on my phone is cut severely. I'd tell you how much, but I can't do math.
3. Speaking of math, I currently have 89.8% in that class, which means I actually have to do well on the final to get an A.
4. I'm going to get a B in Algebra.
5. EVERYthing possible went on tonight. At the same time. You think I'm kidding, there was 5 things alone that I was aware of, and no one tells me anything.
6. Apparently someone, at sometime, in Malaysia has read this blog.
7. I don't even think I spelled that right, but give me some awesome points anyways.
8. I can't remember what I need to buy at Walmart.
9. I'm for rizzle going to miss my Old Testament class.
10. My roommate is totes legit.
11. Don't ever let me say "totes" again.
12. I need some random ideas, so feel free to send some my way.
13. My brother just started his THIRD blog.
14. Does that make me lame or awesome for only having one?
15. That was not a list point...
16. I am a terrible writer/blogger
17. Despair.
18. Refer to #15
19. I like it here.
20. You should refer all of your friends to this blog. I dunno why, just do it.
21. Do it, or I will kill you.
22. It's finals week.
23. I like the color green
24. I don't understand my best friend.
25. Insanity is not a medical condition, it is a legal term.
26. Roommate and I are working on a YouTube channel!
27. It's gonna be AWESOME.

Record!

Today I am setting a blogging record for most consecutive days with a post.

*drumroll please*

I have now gone from one...to two.

Feel free to squeal in excitement, dance around, and maybe mail me a pizza. One or all are acceptable.

Yay!

At this point you've all probably quit reading this ridiculous post, but I'm going to keep going anyway, in order to make you all feel like you've missed something awesome. Which you have.

Ramblerambleramble

I'm J K.

I forgot how allergic I am to Missouri. Like for reals. I think some people (probably the same persons that invented group projects) got together and said 'Hey! I've got a grEAt idea! What if we portioned off a portion of land and use that to contain every allergin known to mankind! We can even through in some random stuff that people may or may not be allergic to! That sounds like a grEAt idea!' and then a random member of the group decided to add his two cents, 'Guys! We could also hide all the meds in the random back corner of Walmart so that the allergic people who have puffy/watery eyes already have a rediculously IMPOSSIBLE time trying to find them!'

And then they all cheered and hugged and fist bumped and celebrated by eating cake.

(Related insertation: a girl in the hall just sneezed. See my point? It's not like I'm the only selfish person with allergies and I think you should all focus on and feel sorry for me because I'm the only one because I'm not. Make sense? Hopefully, but doubtful.)

Of lint rollers, rubber maids, and post it notes...

Packing is such a pain. Pain pain pain.

On the bright side, I found the sham that has eluded me ALL year. Yayyy

Aanywho, packing most of my life into the back of Joe makes me feel two ways: 1. Awesome and minimalistic. After all, I can fit everything into my car. This proves I'm not materialistic, right? Everyone should wish to be me. 2. Pathetic. Everything fits in my car. I'm going no where in life. I may as well become a professional hobo.

I like to deal in dramatic extremes.

I don't like packing, but when I have to I prefer to pack ahead of time. Nothing like being punctual and prepared. However, when you need the stuff you have to pack for life, that kind of becomes difficult.

Aaand we're done.

I have nothing to say...

When I started this blog I was fully planning on updating it with awesomeness EVERY day so as to keep the world breathless in anticipation of what grand things I should type next. That obviously happened. I apologize, world for letting you down.

On the bright side, wall-mate discovered that a herd of rhinos is called a crash. I find that to be a completely appropriate name for our group of friends as well. If you met them, you'd understand. I do love them, in case you're wondering.

Not that anyone is reading this by now, but have a nice day!

That is so not real.

A very interesting discussion ensued in Drawing 1 Section 2 the other day. What was it about?

Art.

Duh, I mean it is an art class, after all.

More specifically, Mrs. Instructor said she hates it when people buy cheap decor just to "match their sofa." She said that her daughter had purchased a couple of prints from Hobby Lobby for her house, but she told said daughter that she did not like them.

Why?

Because they weren't real. They were done by an artist. They were 1 out of 5 hundred thousand billion.

Now I, being an art major myself, am not really sure of my stance on this particular topic. Yes, it is more cool and legit when it's one of a kind art from a sweet personwhohasastudiodressesfunnyandalwayshaspaintintheirhairorchalkontheirfingers. However, some people are poor, and just need a nice picture or two to help disguise their state of poorness, and/or make things look pretty.

But (never start a sentence with a coordinating conjunction, but this is where it gets good) how often do we do that in our lives? Not only do we buy the fake stuff to put on our walls, but I think we also keep the fake stuff around in our lives. We do nice things and pretend we love Jesus, but how often is it just an act? (Drat, I use the word "but" way too often...also the word "often") We want others to see how utterly awesome we are, we don't want to dissappoint people, so what do we do? We fake it.

Well guess what. People make be faked out, but God isn't.

Oh snap.

P to the R to the O-B-L-E-M

God doesn't care what super nice things you are doing. He cares how and why you are doing it. And news flash: doing it so other people will notice your awesomeness is not a good reason. Sorry.

So. I really can't care less about what you decorate with (Unless it's super ugly). However, God cares what you "decorate" your life with.

So make sure it's all real.