Zealous gentleness?

I don't really have a conclusion for this post, but I was reading Galatians today and noticed an interesting paradox of sorts. Zealous vs. gentle. Paul talks about zealousness being a great thing, and how the church at Galatia started out with a lot of it. But then he also talks about having a spirit of gentleness, and how we should use it to serve one another. In my mind, these two things don't really go together. You can't be zealous and gentle at the same time, can you? Can you be gently zealous? Zealously gentle? Now that I type it, it makes a modicum of sense, but it still seems rather challenging...

The Names We Ignore

Happy-New-Year-twelve-days-late-and-first-post-in-like-two-months

Winter break in a college town is not as sparkly and glamorous as one might think. It's actually rather dull and mundane and repetitive. Which isn't a horrible thing when one is able to sleep in until 11 every day. As a result of this boredom I've been doing some reading and stuff, and I figured the 2-7 people that read the things I randomly post would be thrilled to hear about it haha.

I've been hanging out in Romans this last week, and when I got to the end where Paul is listing all the people that he wants to give a shout out to, I was tempted to skip it, just like I'm tempted to skip every list of names in the Bible. I know, I know...but you do it too. Something about those lists just isn't appealing, unless you're trying to come up with the funniest possible name for someone's baby, then they're like a gold mine!

I digress.

I thought to myself, "Self, you are stuck here with nothing to do. You have no real reason not to read this list. Read the list." Yes, that is a summary of my basic thought pattern, except that I think it a lot faster. So I read the list. I don't know that every list is like this, but the list in Romans 16 is actually quite neat. Yes it's a bunch of names that I'll never be able to recite to you, but for every name Paul lists, he gives a reason, a characteristic of this person that made them worthy in his eyes. The following phrases are used:

"my fellow workers in Christ Jesus"

"who labored much for us"

"my beloved in the Lord"

"approved in Christ" (possibly my favorite)

"chosen in the Lord" (!!!)

I could be way off here, but if you only get one verse in the entire Bible, I think that's a pretty good way to go down. I know nothing else of Amplias, Tryphosa, or Patrobas, but that they loved and served the Lord in such a way that Paul gave them the shout out of a lifetime. Thousands of years later they are known only for the very best choice they made. We don't get anything about how they messed things up, their doubts, their insecurities, their weaknesses. They are known forever for the one important factor in their otherwise unknown lives.

Jesus Christ.

May we-and I-strive to be known for one thing only.

They followed Christ.

Selectively tolerant

Don't come after me wanting to argue and debate, because arguing and debating will change neither of our minds, it'll only make us angry with one another. This is simply my observation and you can do with it what you will.

Homosexuality is a sin. I'm never going to apologize for that statement. No, I am not "homophobic" and I don't hate gays, it's just a sin. Plain and simple. What I don't get is the Christian world's way of dealing with it. We go out of our way to make sure that everyone knows that we don't hate homosexuals (not a bad thing BTW). The part I don't understand is how, if we're so loving, we ignore and/or despise all the other "major sinners" around us. No one is making an effort to love shoplifters, rapists, gang members, or single parents. Why do we hurry to accept one type and not another? Please do not take away from this that I hate homosexuals, unwed moms, or anyone else. What I am trying to communicate is that in our culture of tolerance I think that we've lost sight of where we should be going. If we simply loved people that way Jesus did, would we have to protest or insist that we do? What if instead of debating or Facebook ranting we just loved people unconditionally, regardless of their choice sin? Maybe we should focus on our personal sins instead of those on the internet? I don't know, and I'm not claiming to know. I'm just wondering out loud. Out loud? On screen? Something on the interwebs..I dunno. Anyways, I just get tired of people yelling about how they love gays and please don't lump them in with those hateful Christians who don't like anyone but themselves...and on and on and on.

I don't know that this has really made any sense. I just think that if we are going to preach that God is a God of love, maybe we should act like it. Or maybe even actually believe it and learn to live it.

I don't understand at all how to love as Christ does. I used to think I had an idea, but then I was confronted with the hugeness and impossibility of it all. I don't get it at all. But someday I hope to. Just a little.

Jesus wasn't interested in being relevant.

Tis that wonderful time of the year when I decide to once again break out the ol' blog. We'll see how long it lasts this time. And in keeping with tradition, all following posts will quite possibly be rants and/or soap boxes. However, you may choose to read it or no, so I cannot be held responsible.

Why do we as Christians and the church care so much about being "relevant"? We bend over backwards with our music, our coffee shops, and our t-shirts, trying to prove to the world that we are indeed the in-thing. We try so hard to fit into the culture, but it doesn't seem to be working.

Before you yell at me, I will say that I definitely think that we need to be sensitive to those around us and to different situations and variables. We certainly should take into account the needs of the body as a whole.

I digress.

I could be mistaken, but Jesus seem pretty counter-cultural to me.

He turned the religious mindset of his followers upside down, healed on the Sabbath, and brought grace into the picture. He preached a message of love, joy, and turning the other cheek. He equated lust with adultery and hate with murder. He wasn't popular. He asked us to go the extra mile, to love our enemies, not to worry, and to do things for the Lord's eyes, not for men's. He changed their view of the law.

He asked us to be last.

Jesus Christ was love perfected.

This philosophy is not relevant. It never has been. We're human. We're selfish, we hate seeing others succeed, and heaven forbid we go out of our busy way to help someone in need.

Jesus wasn't relevant.

Jesus was radical.

What if we laid aside our clever slogans and our v-necks long enough to truly love one another? What if we lived this way of life that is so completely radical it has caused a plethora of people to lay down their lives for this crazy cause? What if we followed the beautiful example of Jesus, and showed the world the Father through this crazy love rather than our posters?

What if?

Life may be beautiful...

...but people are weird.

Harsh? Not really. I am absolutely justified in this statement. Why, do you ask?

I have turned into a telemarketer. Of sorts.

Ironic, considering how bad I was at selling Girl Scout cookies.

My average conversation goes something like this:
Random person: Hello?
Me: Hi, is this so-and-so?
Random person: WHO IS THIS?!?

...I would be afraid to be friends with someone who always answered the phone in such a way. They must be very suspicious people.

The other day I called an older lady, told her who I was, and she responded, "NO WAY! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO CALL ME FOR YEARS!!!" ...and then hung up.

Then there's that awkward moment when the person you are trying to call happens to be dead. Which actually happens quite often.

And there's people who have their phone under their son's name, even though he hasn't lived there for 20 years.

I frequently have elderly people tell me that they aren't going to live long enough to make switching insurance worth it.



...I don't understand.

School Pride Scholarship

I am studying Commercial Art and Digital Imaging and Southwest Baptist University in Bolivar, Missouri. This school has and will continue to contribute to my career path in a number of ways. The faculty and staff at SBU are all very personal, and as a result I have been able to more effectively learn in my classes and through my projects. They go out of their way to explain to students what all their chosen field of study includes, and what one needs to do in order to accomplish what one needs to both graduate and find a job after. SBU requires students to have at least one internship in their chosen field, which provides valuable work experience. Required internships also demonstrate to future employers that students are not simply “fresh out of college,” but have already been at work in their field, and are ready to competently join the work force. Another benefit of attending SBU is the school’s Christian morals. We are taught to include the Lord in everything we do, whether it be dorm life, school, or the work field. This raises both our standards and our expectations. We learn to be unwilling to compromise in even the small things, work hard, and to always do everything to the best of our abilities. We are taught to honor our professors, our employers, and all others in authority. We treat fellow students, coworkers, and customers with respect and are willing and ready to serve them when needed. SBU places an emphasis on students being “servant leaders in a global society.” The school desires for students to be strong enough to lead in any situation, yet humble enough to serve at the same time. Race, gender, and social status have no bearing on our interactions with others, be it in a work environment, or otherwise. In all of these things and more, Southwest Baptist University is influencing me and my fellow students in our chosen careers. We are learning to deal with people, how to serve them, and how to succeed. I am grateful to be attending a school with high standards and with faculty that is unwilling to compromise.

This scholarship is sponsored by CenturyLinkQuote.com.

Uncertainty...

...it runs rampant on this college campus. On any college campus I'm sure. This is the time in our lives when we're supposed to figure out what we want to do, when we're supposed to have a plan. We're supposed to have an answer when we go home on weekends and holidays and people ask, "So, what are you going to do?" Whether it be for the rest of our lives, the summer, or even the rest of the semester, we just don't know! All feel the same, yet few are brave enough to admit it. Everyone envisions themselves graduating, getting a decent job (right after, if not before, graduation), and of course, getting the girl (or guy, as the case may be). Which is then followed by multiple years of babies, soccer games, and family trips to the Grand Canyon. We expect to live in nice houses with master bathrooms, drive the "Swagger Wagon," and be the house with the big TV and Tortino's Pizza Rolls that all the kids want to hang out in. We'll take our kids to Sunday School, pay our tithe, and help out with church dinners. We'll host dinner and Super Bowl parties, have a nice-smelling dog, and have well-behaved children. This, my friends, is success, is it not?

And if your life doesn't turn out like this? Well, you obviously did something wrong. You must have fallen asleep in class too often, or didn't purchase enough Toms. You certainly should have participated in TWIRP week. It's your own fault.

Right?

I actually can't say that I know a single person whose life plan has actually worked out for them. I do, however, know multiple seniors that, while they can't wait to get away from homework, community showers, and all-nighters, are scared to death. They don't know what comes next. Maybe that's why we have Super Seniors haha...

What is the point of all this rambling? Good question...I guess the main point is I don't know what to do. My college experience thus far has been a terrific rollercoaster of learning who I am in Christ and how to genuinely trust him. Do I always fully trust Him with everything? Ha. If I did then maybe I wouldn't be so stressed about the future. I shouldn't be so concerned that I've been trying to get another job since August and it hasn't happened yet. I shouldn't be wanting to immediately turn to student loans in despair. I shouldn't be freaking out about whether or not I'm hired as an R.A., and if I'm not, who I'll room with next year, or if my lack of finances with even allow me to return next year. Or if I'll even be able to pay off this semester. Why is my trust in Lord the dependent on my bank account? If He can handle creating the stars and keeping the universe on the right track, then why do I think He can't take care of one Kansas college kid?

I wish I could say that I fully trusted the Lord and mean it, but I guess for now all I can truthfully say is that I deeply desire to trust in the Lord and not in myself. I'm just not very good at it most of the time. I guess that's why we have the Spirit. Nothing's supposed to be in our own power.

Now to remember that...

Look at the birds of the air, for they neither sow nor reap nor gather in the barns; yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not of more value than they? -Matthew 6:26

To the men.

I would like to say thank you to the men.

The men who, regardless of if they have girlfriends or not, treat us as something valuable. The men who open doors and save us with snacks when we're starving. Who bring us whatever it is we forgot. The men who comfort us when we cry and tease us when we're happy. Who are willing to save us from creepers. Who give us jackets and go on adventures with us. Who aren't afraid to be honest with us. The men who love the Lord.

Thank you. Men like you may be considered rare, and we may not always tell you, but you are appriciated, and you are valued. Even if you aren't the ones we choose to date, you give us hope, and we love you. You don't know it, but when you aren't around we talk about how lucky the girl that gets you will be.

Keep it up.

Are we good enough for each other?

(yay for the first post of 2012 finally making an appearance!)

Why can we never be good enough for one another?

We can't play the right sports, wear the right clothes, sit at the right table, live in the same dorm, have the right major, have the right job, etc.

I don't get it. I really don't. All I know is that the Lord called us to love one another, and stereotyping and discriminating are not ways to accomplish this. I am by no means saying that I'm great at loving other. I'm just really tired of having to constantly defend one friend to another. I understand that no everyone gets along. I just wish people would stop assuming that where someone lives, how they dress, or if they like videos games defines them.

I go to a Christian college. One would think that everyone here is friends with everyone. That we all love one another. That we are all seeking to grow together as a Body. But the more people I meet, and the more friends I make, the more I realize this isn't true. Christians have just as many cliques as everyone else. Maybe more. Why is it that we can't see past the surface, or even the rumored stereotypes, and love people for who they are? The Lord has created each and everyone of them-and us-as unique and valuable individuals. We weren't meant to be defined by our lunch tables, our jobs, or our dorms. We were meant to be defined by who we are in Christ, and we were meant to show that value and that love to the rest of the world. Why should anyone consider following Christ if those who already do are just as mean, catty, and rude as everyone else? Why aren't we different?

Jesus didn't hang out with the cool crowd. Jesus hung out with sinners, taxcollectors, orphans, and widows. The social rejects. So maybe it's time we stopped rejecting them and started befriending them and getting to know them. It's time we stopped forcing people to try and be good enough for us.


It's time to love.

I have.

I have enough music on my iTunes to last two and a half days.

I have enough junk food in my room to last a week or two.

I have enough shirts in my closet to last at least six weeks.

The Lakota children of South Dakota are thrilled to get a small box or bag of cheap toys, gloves, and hotel shampoo for Christmas.

Yay America.

I don't know what I'm doing

I have a confession to make.

I am not perfect. I do not have it all together. As a matter of fact, I don't have anything together.

I know, shocking, right?

At this point I'm pretty sure if anyone is actually reading this they are rolling their eyes. I have that effect on people. Just kidding. But seriously. Feel free to quit reading my ramblings at any moment. I'll never know, I promise.

*disclaimer* I am in no way saying not to talk to me. I am always available and willing to spend time with and invest in you. I just think that sometimes you're looking for answers in the wrong place.

A friend told someone the other day that I'm always in an awesome mood and never have any problems to talk about. Another friend told me I can have any guy I want on campus. People (sometimes) seem to think I'm awesome. I don't really know where they get this idea from. In my mind, I am the frazzled, tired, super busy girl who may or may not be wearing makeup/have done something with the hair/have matching socks. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know where I'm going half the time (thank goodness my mind sends me to the right buildings out of habit!). There are plenty of days when I feel awesome, on top of things, and attractive. And then there are days when all I hope is that no one will talk to me, nothing will come up, and I can hide in 203 for hours. However, the Lord hasn't called me to be a hermit (big shocker, huh?). I thrive on people, and I want each and every one of you to know just how absolutely wonderful and worth it you are. I'm in a great mood most of the time because I'm surrounded by the awesome creations of the Lord, and it honestly blows my mind. Sometimes I feel like I have to hold it together for the sake of all those around me, and at the same time I feel like everyone can that that is all I am trying to do. I love you all dearly, believe me, but I cannot be what you think you need me to be. You all don't need me. I can't hold it together for you. If you look up to me, I promise you'll be disappointed. The Lord created you, and He loves you more than you can even begin to imagine. He is singing over you in the stars, in the wind, in the leaves changing colors. He wants to be the One you depend one, and He wants you to realize that you are valuable and adored. There is nothing more satisfying that coming to that awesome realization. I wish this for each and every one of you, which is why I try to convey my love for you continually, but again, I can't do it all, I can't be it all for you.

But I can always show you who can.

<3

On Tim Tebow

Dear Christians-who-love-sports:


Tim Tebow does not "deserve" to be starting.


I know, I'm a heathen, aren't I?


Lemme esplain.

I have seen status after status the past five weeks bemoaning the fact that Tebow hasn't gotten to play or start. And just about everyone insists that it MUST be because he's a Christian.

I have a startling theory to share with you.

Maybe, just maybe, he hasn't started til now because...he isn't that awesome at the game of professional football.


I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.


There are many Christians in the NFL. Tebow is not the only one. There are also many backups in the NFL. And many of them work just as hard as Tebow.

I have nothing against Tim Tebow. I think he's a great guy who loves the Lord and happens to pay football. I'm just severely annoyed with people who think he "deseveres" to play and to start because he's a Christian. That really isn't related to football. It's a game. He isn't the only one that plays it.

P.S. I've even been backed up by a prof on this. He says Tebow is inconsistent and unready for the pros.

Art Majors FTW

I love being an art major. Why is that, do you ask?


I will tell you.


1. We do things like pull up virtual fireplaces whilst we critique.


2. We don't have very many midterms, and when we do, our profs tell us to use fake names and draw pictures to go along with the questions.


3. We get to play with dangerous chemicals on a regular basis. We also stand around and chat in the dark room next to said chemicals, with little ventalation. We did actually wear gloves today, though, which is an improvement.


4. Star Wars font!


5. Studying: Optional


Win? I think yes.

Part Two: I'm Not Very Good at this Christian thing

I've been meaning to write this for over a week now, but art eats my life sometimes. Most days all I really want to do is take a nap. Anyways, I'm sure you're dying to see my new list (I love lists. I think it has to do with being left-handed?), so here you are:

1. I haven't read Crazy Love all the way through. I started it, I really did, and I had every intention of loving and finishing it. That didn't happen. In all honesty I was bored by chapter three. It's sitting on my shelf here at school, begging to be read and appreciated. Maybe someday...

2. I haven't read Radical. I also find David Platt to be a bad public speaker. No, it's not the fact that he has a lisp. I just wasn't as rivited as I had expected.

3. I have never been prayer walking. Actually, I hadn't even heard of it before I came to school. It's pretty popular. Almost as populer as Chacos...

4. Some sort of religious programming came on TLC the other day, and I switched to Disney channel. I don't really think any other explanation is needed here.

Hey, at least I'm not cliche...right?

Job search:Fail

Job hunting isn't supposed to be this hard. I got my first job at 15 and was hired on the spot. Same with the other job that lasted three weeks and then the business closed...My boss here even likes me, and he didn't have a say in the hiring last year.

You'd think if I found a job in the small town, I could find one in the town that is at least 4 times larger. Sigh.

All I want is some measley extra income so that I can stay in school, go to Taco Bell, and maybe take flying lessons. Is that too much to ask??

9/11 & 35,000

Let me start by saying that I am not anti-America at all. I happen to love being an American, and I wouldn't want to be a citizen of any other country. However, that does not mean that I am proud of or condone everything that goes on.

Why is it that it takes tragedy to bring people together? What if we, as the body of Christ, actually truely cared about people on a day to day basis?

I am not trying to discount the events of September 11, 2001. What happened was terrible, and I would not wish it on anyone. I think the men and women involved in rescue and cleanup did an incredible thing.

But.

Over 50 million children have died as a result of abortion. That is more people than Hitle and Stalin killed combined.

Every year, 35,000 people die of starvation and lack of clean water.

Yes, we should rush to help in times of tragedy. But there are people in personal tragedy every day, and we do nothing.

All the world could have clean drinking water for a little over $10 million. That really isn't very much if you think about it.

Why is it we think it's ok to ignore those around us? Jesus calls us to love widows, orphans, and our neighbors.

It's time to start.

Remember 9/11 and the great loss.

Just don't forget those still alive. Those slowly dying every day. Those we have the power to help.

Do something.

Love them like Jesus.

3 day weekenddd

It's Labor Day weekend, which means there's only like 43 people left on campus. It has it's positives and negatives. It's significantly less dramatic, for starters.

I have been super productive so far. I have worked out, make three boxes of brownies, done laundry, played guitar, balanced my check book,ironed, washed dishes, and organized things. I know, I'm great at this whole domestic thing.

I'm planning on taking 2-4 online quizzes, writing 1-3 papers, buying my roommate a birthday present, and spreading love and sunshine to the world.

You should probably be in awe right now. :P

I'm not very good at this Christian thing...

...I'm also not very good at blogging. However, I only know one person who updates her blog on a regular basis, so I'm not overly concerned.

Anyways, being back on the Baptist campus has reminded me of something: I'm not the greatest at this whole Christian thing. Why, do you ask?

1. I hate journaling. And by hate, I do mean hate. Which makes blogging seem ironic. I dunno. Something about writing about my feelings and such just does not appeal to me. I used to by journals and notebooks a lot, because they're super cute, but it has turned out to be futile.

2. I own neither Toms nor Chacos. I would love to buy some Toms, I just have no money. No offense to the 945 students here who wear them, but Chacos are not attractive. I know it makes you look like Super-outdoor-missiounary-adventure-Christian, but I just can't take them seriously. I think I wore sandels similar to those in...fourth grade.

3. I cannot play the djembe. If Jesus was musically inclined, this is what He played. I'm pretty sure at least one of the twelve probably did as well. I'm not sure how the djembe ended up with the honor of being one of the top holy instruments, but it's definitely not in my area of expertise.

4. I have never played guitar whilst sitting around a campfire. However, I'm taking a guitar class this semester, so this one is attainable!

5. I don't get up early for quiet time. I also didn't get up in time for class the other day...but I think God understands some people's extreme need for sleep. Besides, He's around all day.

6. I fail at intense mission experiences. This one needs explaning. On my mission trip this summer we went to a memorial site that happened to be a graveyard. I, in my skewed perspective of reality, happened to reallyyy like graveyards. I was super excited to be going to one, whist my team was all serious and prayerful. I was literaly trying to disguise my happiness, since I figured it would probably be frowned upon.

I'm sure there's more, but this is my current list. I don't really know how the people around me perceive my spiritual life, but hopefully they aren't judging me by my lack of "spiritual" footwear. I guess it's a good thing God doesn't actually require any of this stuff, huh?

Here I am again...

...in the same place as last year. Well, almost. One week until I leave again. I should probably start packing...I have a new roommate, new hallmates, new classes...it's like a never ending cycle that at the same time is a ticking time bomb. I don't know where last year went. I don't even know where this summer went. I'm also sounding depressed, and I'm not haha

The best thing about a new school year is getting to buy more stuff. Not that I need more stuff, but I just can't hep it sometimes. I walk into Walmart and see all that nifty color-coordinated stuff, and then I stand there trying to think of what I could possibly do with it, just because it's cool looking...

Lap giraffes!

So I don't think this is real...but it would be the coolest thing ever! Also I felt bad that I haven't posted anything in FOREVER...in my defense, not a lot has happened lately. The excitement starts in a week and a half when I go see the old roommate and go back to school:)
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2jaTDm/www.petitelapgiraffe.com