I have.

I have enough music on my iTunes to last two and a half days.

I have enough junk food in my room to last a week or two.

I have enough shirts in my closet to last at least six weeks.

The Lakota children of South Dakota are thrilled to get a small box or bag of cheap toys, gloves, and hotel shampoo for Christmas.

Yay America.

I don't know what I'm doing

I have a confession to make.

I am not perfect. I do not have it all together. As a matter of fact, I don't have anything together.

I know, shocking, right?

At this point I'm pretty sure if anyone is actually reading this they are rolling their eyes. I have that effect on people. Just kidding. But seriously. Feel free to quit reading my ramblings at any moment. I'll never know, I promise.

*disclaimer* I am in no way saying not to talk to me. I am always available and willing to spend time with and invest in you. I just think that sometimes you're looking for answers in the wrong place.

A friend told someone the other day that I'm always in an awesome mood and never have any problems to talk about. Another friend told me I can have any guy I want on campus. People (sometimes) seem to think I'm awesome. I don't really know where they get this idea from. In my mind, I am the frazzled, tired, super busy girl who may or may not be wearing makeup/have done something with the hair/have matching socks. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't even know where I'm going half the time (thank goodness my mind sends me to the right buildings out of habit!). There are plenty of days when I feel awesome, on top of things, and attractive. And then there are days when all I hope is that no one will talk to me, nothing will come up, and I can hide in 203 for hours. However, the Lord hasn't called me to be a hermit (big shocker, huh?). I thrive on people, and I want each and every one of you to know just how absolutely wonderful and worth it you are. I'm in a great mood most of the time because I'm surrounded by the awesome creations of the Lord, and it honestly blows my mind. Sometimes I feel like I have to hold it together for the sake of all those around me, and at the same time I feel like everyone can that that is all I am trying to do. I love you all dearly, believe me, but I cannot be what you think you need me to be. You all don't need me. I can't hold it together for you. If you look up to me, I promise you'll be disappointed. The Lord created you, and He loves you more than you can even begin to imagine. He is singing over you in the stars, in the wind, in the leaves changing colors. He wants to be the One you depend one, and He wants you to realize that you are valuable and adored. There is nothing more satisfying that coming to that awesome realization. I wish this for each and every one of you, which is why I try to convey my love for you continually, but again, I can't do it all, I can't be it all for you.

But I can always show you who can.

<3

On Tim Tebow

Dear Christians-who-love-sports:


Tim Tebow does not "deserve" to be starting.


I know, I'm a heathen, aren't I?


Lemme esplain.

I have seen status after status the past five weeks bemoaning the fact that Tebow hasn't gotten to play or start. And just about everyone insists that it MUST be because he's a Christian.

I have a startling theory to share with you.

Maybe, just maybe, he hasn't started til now because...he isn't that awesome at the game of professional football.


I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'.


There are many Christians in the NFL. Tebow is not the only one. There are also many backups in the NFL. And many of them work just as hard as Tebow.

I have nothing against Tim Tebow. I think he's a great guy who loves the Lord and happens to pay football. I'm just severely annoyed with people who think he "deseveres" to play and to start because he's a Christian. That really isn't related to football. It's a game. He isn't the only one that plays it.

P.S. I've even been backed up by a prof on this. He says Tebow is inconsistent and unready for the pros.

Art Majors FTW

I love being an art major. Why is that, do you ask?


I will tell you.


1. We do things like pull up virtual fireplaces whilst we critique.


2. We don't have very many midterms, and when we do, our profs tell us to use fake names and draw pictures to go along with the questions.


3. We get to play with dangerous chemicals on a regular basis. We also stand around and chat in the dark room next to said chemicals, with little ventalation. We did actually wear gloves today, though, which is an improvement.


4. Star Wars font!


5. Studying: Optional


Win? I think yes.

Part Two: I'm Not Very Good at this Christian thing

I've been meaning to write this for over a week now, but art eats my life sometimes. Most days all I really want to do is take a nap. Anyways, I'm sure you're dying to see my new list (I love lists. I think it has to do with being left-handed?), so here you are:

1. I haven't read Crazy Love all the way through. I started it, I really did, and I had every intention of loving and finishing it. That didn't happen. In all honesty I was bored by chapter three. It's sitting on my shelf here at school, begging to be read and appreciated. Maybe someday...

2. I haven't read Radical. I also find David Platt to be a bad public speaker. No, it's not the fact that he has a lisp. I just wasn't as rivited as I had expected.

3. I have never been prayer walking. Actually, I hadn't even heard of it before I came to school. It's pretty popular. Almost as populer as Chacos...

4. Some sort of religious programming came on TLC the other day, and I switched to Disney channel. I don't really think any other explanation is needed here.

Hey, at least I'm not cliche...right?

Job search:Fail

Job hunting isn't supposed to be this hard. I got my first job at 15 and was hired on the spot. Same with the other job that lasted three weeks and then the business closed...My boss here even likes me, and he didn't have a say in the hiring last year.

You'd think if I found a job in the small town, I could find one in the town that is at least 4 times larger. Sigh.

All I want is some measley extra income so that I can stay in school, go to Taco Bell, and maybe take flying lessons. Is that too much to ask??

9/11 & 35,000

Let me start by saying that I am not anti-America at all. I happen to love being an American, and I wouldn't want to be a citizen of any other country. However, that does not mean that I am proud of or condone everything that goes on.

Why is it that it takes tragedy to bring people together? What if we, as the body of Christ, actually truely cared about people on a day to day basis?

I am not trying to discount the events of September 11, 2001. What happened was terrible, and I would not wish it on anyone. I think the men and women involved in rescue and cleanup did an incredible thing.

But.

Over 50 million children have died as a result of abortion. That is more people than Hitle and Stalin killed combined.

Every year, 35,000 people die of starvation and lack of clean water.

Yes, we should rush to help in times of tragedy. But there are people in personal tragedy every day, and we do nothing.

All the world could have clean drinking water for a little over $10 million. That really isn't very much if you think about it.

Why is it we think it's ok to ignore those around us? Jesus calls us to love widows, orphans, and our neighbors.

It's time to start.

Remember 9/11 and the great loss.

Just don't forget those still alive. Those slowly dying every day. Those we have the power to help.

Do something.

Love them like Jesus.

3 day weekenddd

It's Labor Day weekend, which means there's only like 43 people left on campus. It has it's positives and negatives. It's significantly less dramatic, for starters.

I have been super productive so far. I have worked out, make three boxes of brownies, done laundry, played guitar, balanced my check book,ironed, washed dishes, and organized things. I know, I'm great at this whole domestic thing.

I'm planning on taking 2-4 online quizzes, writing 1-3 papers, buying my roommate a birthday present, and spreading love and sunshine to the world.

You should probably be in awe right now. :P

I'm not very good at this Christian thing...

...I'm also not very good at blogging. However, I only know one person who updates her blog on a regular basis, so I'm not overly concerned.

Anyways, being back on the Baptist campus has reminded me of something: I'm not the greatest at this whole Christian thing. Why, do you ask?

1. I hate journaling. And by hate, I do mean hate. Which makes blogging seem ironic. I dunno. Something about writing about my feelings and such just does not appeal to me. I used to by journals and notebooks a lot, because they're super cute, but it has turned out to be futile.

2. I own neither Toms nor Chacos. I would love to buy some Toms, I just have no money. No offense to the 945 students here who wear them, but Chacos are not attractive. I know it makes you look like Super-outdoor-missiounary-adventure-Christian, but I just can't take them seriously. I think I wore sandels similar to those in...fourth grade.

3. I cannot play the djembe. If Jesus was musically inclined, this is what He played. I'm pretty sure at least one of the twelve probably did as well. I'm not sure how the djembe ended up with the honor of being one of the top holy instruments, but it's definitely not in my area of expertise.

4. I have never played guitar whilst sitting around a campfire. However, I'm taking a guitar class this semester, so this one is attainable!

5. I don't get up early for quiet time. I also didn't get up in time for class the other day...but I think God understands some people's extreme need for sleep. Besides, He's around all day.

6. I fail at intense mission experiences. This one needs explaning. On my mission trip this summer we went to a memorial site that happened to be a graveyard. I, in my skewed perspective of reality, happened to reallyyy like graveyards. I was super excited to be going to one, whist my team was all serious and prayerful. I was literaly trying to disguise my happiness, since I figured it would probably be frowned upon.

I'm sure there's more, but this is my current list. I don't really know how the people around me perceive my spiritual life, but hopefully they aren't judging me by my lack of "spiritual" footwear. I guess it's a good thing God doesn't actually require any of this stuff, huh?

Here I am again...

...in the same place as last year. Well, almost. One week until I leave again. I should probably start packing...I have a new roommate, new hallmates, new classes...it's like a never ending cycle that at the same time is a ticking time bomb. I don't know where last year went. I don't even know where this summer went. I'm also sounding depressed, and I'm not haha

The best thing about a new school year is getting to buy more stuff. Not that I need more stuff, but I just can't hep it sometimes. I walk into Walmart and see all that nifty color-coordinated stuff, and then I stand there trying to think of what I could possibly do with it, just because it's cool looking...

Lap giraffes!

So I don't think this is real...but it would be the coolest thing ever! Also I felt bad that I haven't posted anything in FOREVER...in my defense, not a lot has happened lately. The excitement starts in a week and a half when I go see the old roommate and go back to school:)
http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/2jaTDm/www.petitelapgiraffe.com

Someone Worth Dying For

I don't really have anything to say, so check out the lyrics to the legit new song by Mike's Chair, and have a great day:)

You might be the wife, waiting up at night
You might be the man, struggling
to provide
Feeling like it's hopeless
Maybe you're the son who chose a
broken road
Maybe you're the girl thinking you'll end up alone
Praying
God can you hear me?
Oh God are you listening?

Am I more than flesh
and bone? Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah I wanna believe, I wanna
believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you
don't know
And I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone
worth dying for

I know you've heard the truth that God has set you free
But you think you're the one that grace could never reach
So you just
keep asking, oh what everybody's asking

Am I more than flesh and bone?
Am I really something beautiful?
Yeah I wanna believe, I wanna believe that
I'm not just some wandering soul
That you don't see and you don't know
Yeah I wanna believe, Jesus help me believe that I
Am someone worth
dying for
You're worth it, you can't earn it
Yeah the cross has proven
that you're sacred and blameless
Your life has purpose

And you are
more than flesh and bone,
Can't you see you're something beautiful
Yes
you gotta believe, you gotta believe
He wants you to see, He wants you to
see
That you're not just some wandering soul
That can't be seen and
can't be known
Yeah you gotta believe, you gotta believe that you are
Someone worth dying for, oho
You're someone worth dying for, oho
You're someone worth dying for.

Church Camp High

This last week we went to church camp. I wasn't just not posting like usual :P. It was a good but extremely hot week, and I got to see many old friends and make a few new ones, but it felt like something was weird. It seemed kind of...blah.

I did not get the "church camp high." You know, where you go to camp and come home all "yay Jesus" and stuff for a few weeks. I didn't have any revelations of life changing decisions.

Why? It's definitely not because I'm just so absolutely perfect that I don't need to change a thing. Maybe it was just the fact that I was sick 76% of the time due to the extreme temperatures. Maybe it was the fact that compared to last month's trip to South Dakota, this week was rather tame and predictable. Maybe it was all those times my campus pastor talked about falling in love with the "everyday life Jesus" instead of "Super Summer Jesus." Maybe they just didn't touch on anything I really struggle with. Maybe it's because I was concerned with trying to fix a few other people instead of myself. Maybe it was the fact that I learned so much more in one year of college than I've learned in ten years of church camp.

I don't know why. I really don't. All I know is that I thought I was going to die all week and for the first time was really glad when Friday finally made an appearance. I definitely had, in the words of Ethan, the "camp hangover."

I had fun, and I miss everyone, I really do. I just didn't feel it this year.

For sale!

I have my own store! Well, kind of. It's a really neat website where you can turn photos and art into super cool products. I have a few things up now, working on more. Check it out!

www.zazzle.com/victorianphotosplus*

Also, be sure and add * at the end of the link. I hear it's important.

And be sure to check out "Victorian Photography" on Facebook:)

Serve in the small

There was a monk in the 17th century named Brother Lawrence. From the little I know of him, he was an amazing man who came to an awesome realization about serving the Lord.

"It is enough for me to but pick up a straw from the ground for the love of God."


He grasped a concept that many of us don't.

We don't have to do huge things in order to serve God.


So many times we (...I) feel like if we aren't somewhere in Africa, living in a hut, slaving away in the heat everyday, that we aren't really serving God. We can't possibly do anything that He would approve over. Thankfully, this is so incorrect. It doesn't take turning the world upside-down 24/7 in hyper mode to serve the Lord. We can do it each and everyday. Correction: we SHOULD. In all the small things. In washing the dishes. In driving to work. In scubbing floors or painting walls for a neighbor. In giving someone a hug.


Our God is a personal God, and He loves hearing you whistle as you work just as much as He loves hearing you sing in church on Sunday.

Serve and worship Him in the small things. Because there are WAY more small things in life than there are big. Work it.

Different. Important.

2 Corinthians 12: "There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit, there are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And the are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all...But one and the same Spirit works all these things..."

Different people are good at different things. Raise your hand if you knew that already. We look at people and want what they have. People look at us (some of us, anyway...) and want what we have. No of us are ever satisfied. For example, I know how to draw trees, and I can't sing. Just which one of those sounds like the better deal to you? I would rather kill a cat than give a speech, but I have friends who think it's the most fun thing in the entire world. My entire family has the gift of sarcasm, but I know some people who think I'm the most awkward person ever because they can't understand it.

What's the deal?

Well, I hope it's obvious, but the world wouldn't work very well if everyone had the same talents. We were created different. We need to be different. Different isn't weird. Different is needed.

Do what you're good at, and let everyone else do what they're good at. Be the awesome, valuable person God created you to be. You're special, you're needed, you're important.

Own it!

Weakness, fear, and trembling

...that's how you want to be described, right? Riiiight...that sounds like a GREAT way to make friends and influence enemies.

1 Corinthians 2:1-5:

And I, brethren, when I came to you, did not come with excellence of speech or of wisdom declaring to you the testimony of God. For I determined not to know anything among you except Jesus Christ, and Him crucified. I was with you in weakness, in fear, and in much trembling. And my speech and my preaching were not with persuasive words of human wisdom, but in demonstration of the Spirit and of power, that your faith should not be in the wisdom of men but in the power of God.

Paul wrote Corinthians, right? He was like one of the super Christians of history, and yet he claimed these characteristics. He knew that anything he did that happened to work wasn't because of him. It was all God.

We don't have to be good enough. We CAN'T be good enough. We simply have to trust in, and lean on, the power of Christ and let Him do the impossbile stuff.

It's not up to us!

Thank goodness.

P.S. If the format is all messed up, it's not my fault. I don't know what the deal with blogger is. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

Faaaan Paaaage!

To whom it may concern (AKA the world):

I have a photo fan page on Facebook.

You should check it out. And "like" it.

"Victorian Photography"

The profile picture is a nice tipi. Check it.

Now.

:)

Warning: The Following Contains Nothing Profound

I'm probably just being dramatic. And a little whinny.

Yes, I am home for the summer.

Everyone, PLEASE take note of this.

Why, you ask?

Because people keep asking me. It's the middle of June, what else would I be doing working a resturant here? I didn't get bored and drive up for the day, people.

If you want to know when I came back, when I'm leaving, or what my plans are, I shall gladly tell you.

But pleeeaaaseee, don't ask if I'm home for the summer.

No bueno.

Embarrassed much? Nope.

What is the problem with today’s culture?

We don’t know what to be embarrassed about.

Yes, that sounds odd, but think about it.

What embarrasses people in general today? Car, clothes,
house, kids, salary, hair, family, feelings?

What should embarrass us more than anything?

Sin.

Ezra 9 discusses the intermarriage with pagans that was
apparently popular. Ezra says, “O my God, I am too ashamed and humiliated to
lift up my face to You, my God; for out iniquities have risen higher than our
heads, and our guilt has grown up to the heavens.” (9:6 NKJV)

That, my friends, is a LOT of embarrassment.

And it wasn’t even his fault! As far as I can tell,
Ezra had no part in this. It was all the Israelites. And yet he was
embarrassed. He felt ashamed. Why? Because God’s people disobeyed God’s laws.

Today we are taught to turn our back to sin. Pretend it
isn’t there, and don’t even think about actually confronting someone about
their sin. Don’t bother with your own sin, either. It’d not a problem, doesn’t
need to be taken care of, right?

When did we lose our shame?

Sin is sin, and sin happens to be bad. Just FYI.

We
shouldn’t ignore sin, and we shouldn’t condone it.

We
should be embarrassed by it. And we should do what Israel was doing: confessing
and repenting.

Good
news!: “our God did not forsake us in our bondage; but He extended mercy to us in the sight of the kings of Persia to revive us…” (9:9)

You matter

"When the Creator of matter tells you you matter, THEN you have purpose!" -Brad Stine

(super funny Christian comedian. Check him out. No, seriously. Now.)

Today I was reading some book/pamphlet (Just what IS a pamphlet anyway? How does it vary from a brochure?) that the mom has on modesty, and something interesting stood out to me.

When Adam and Eve realized that they were naked, they made loinclothes out of fig leaves, which have the consistency of sand paper.

When God clothed them, he made tunics out of sheep skin, which does not have the consistency of sand paper.

Is this awesome to anyone else?

They had just disobeyed, deserted, and betrayed the Lord, and what does He do? He covers their shame and embarassment, and He does it in a way that blows their minds (Reading between the lines...).

They tried to make do with some dead leaves that only partially covered them. They tried to hide and run from the God who made and loved them, but nothing they did was successful.

Then God came along. He didn't zap them. He didn't yell. He called to them. And then he clothed them. He replaced their makeshift aprons with soft, covering tunics. They had just basically condemned the world, yet He was proving to them that He still loved them. He cared enough about them to take care of them even when they turned their backs on Him They still mattered.

So do we.

So do you.

We (I!) screw up. We ignore and forget about the Lord. We run away from Him on purpose. We give Him every reason in the world to cast us aside. But He doesn't.

He still loves us.

He takes us back.

Everytime.

And He replaces our homemade, scratchy solutions with His perfect soft ones.

You matter to the Creator of the universe. More than anything.

So I forgot to mention VBS...

Surprise! We had VBS last week and it was...weird.

We didn't have 80-100 kids. We had 50-60.

I did the music.

I think they were all bored.

Except for the karate song. It is impossible to dislike that song. Kind of like it's impossible to frown whilst eating a Frosty.

Intern got hit with water balloons.

2 girls got saved! Yay!

A brief summary of aforementioned mission trip

Sunday and Monday, due to heavy rain, we
stayed inside and worked in the Dream Center. We sorted donations, painted
walls, put office furniture together, and stained the floor. It was a great
time of coming together as a team and just working for the Lord.

Tuesday we went to the town of Wounded
Knee, where we prayer walked, fed children lunch, played with, and loved them
all afternoon. Thursday we did the same in the town of Evergreen. These
children have incredibly difficult lives. On average, they begin drinking at
the age of five, and join gangs by age nine. One six year-old girl told us that
her fifteen year-old brother had been killed in a gang fight just a few days
previous. I got a chance to talk with some of the mothers, and one of them told
me that many of the kids around us did not have fathers, and several lived with
aunts or grandparents.

On Wednesday we
went to White Clay, Nebraska. It is located right across the border and just
off the reservation. It is basically a large collection of bars and liquor
stores. Its purpose is to provide the Natives from the “dry” reservation with
alcohol. Many people choose to stay in this town, and sleep in ditches and on
sidewalks. Business owners in White Clay make an average of $7 billion a year.
We served lunch at a small ministry on the main street and talked with some of
the “residents.” Their stories were unbelievable and heartbreaking. We were
going to actually go out onto the streets after lunch, but a fight broke out in
front of the building, and we ended up sneaking out the back door. It was not
an experience I’d like to repeat.

Overall, the week was
eye-opening and awesome. Our team became very close, and caught a small glimpse
of the Body of Christ laughing, crying, working, sweating, and wondering as
one. The Lord showed us how to worship Him in everything-from feeding a hungry
child to scrubbing concrete. We truly serve an amazing God.

A week without cell service.

We're alive! We didn't get shot, bit by snakes, or hit by a cow. Which were all concerns, trust me.

I learned several things last week:

1. There is nothing in Iowa. Except random roadside art. Is it roadside or road side?

2. Two vans are better than one.

3. It is possible to stain concrete.

4. There all ALWAYS more white spots, even after you paint the wall 4 times.

5. God places other people in your life to do what you cannot, as well as to let you know when you're being dumb.

6. I am never the only person who knows songs from Veggie Tales and/or The Music Man

7. Those of us with should always give to those without.

8. God sends people that believe in us because sometimes we just can't believe in ourselves

9. When you get down to it, everyone just wants to be loved.

10. Some people see the world differently in order to enlighten the rest of us.

11. Nothing brings people together like blasting "Don't Stop Believin'"

12. Open skies win. Every time.

13. Even when you're freaked out, God still uses the simple things to remind you of His presence.

14. Money can't buy everything, but it can buy some really pretty handmade pottery and paintings.

15. None of us can do it alone.

16. Effort counts when performance lacks.

17. Life is beautiful when viewed through a camera lens.

18. Starting is always the hardest part.

19. The New Testament is a lot cooler than I originally thought.

20. It's ok to be real with people.

21. How to duel properly.

22. You can put almost any words to "Home on the Range."

I just realized that I fail as a blogger.

Why?

A) I have no theme.

B) I failed to mentioned the Royal Wedding.

Let me just state that neither of the aforementioned facts are really a concern, because to my knowledge no one really cares.

Did I mention I hate packing? I'm getting ready to go on my mission trip fiiiinally, but I ran out of room. If we didn't need rain boots, it wouldn't be quite as problematic, but problematic nonetheless.

Aaanyways I'm super excited. And super sore. Mom and I are doing Jillian Michaels 30 day shred. Except it'll probally take more that 30 days. 'Cause I'm going to be gone for a week.

Also, I really enjoy chocolate chip muffins :D

Of old cars and crying

My car overheated! Yay! I made it 5/6 of the way home and realized that the little indicator on my temp gage was past the H line. Like, as far to the right as it could physically go. And my car stopped accelerating. Awesome. I stopped at a gas station to put some gas in and let my poor Joe cool off. However, there was something wrong with the gas pump I chose, as it would only let me put $4.33 in my tank. Weird. Good thing I wasn't desperate. I let the car sit about 10 minutes and went on my marry little way. For a while anyway. Then it started again, so I stopped at a rest stop. This time I actually had people offer me help. One was a trucker whose semi had also overheated. I didn't know you could pop the semi of one of those things, but surprise! The other was an older lady in a mini van with a kayak. A third lady came by, but that wasn't to offer help, it was to congradulate me! On the fact that she thought I was "just married" because that's what my car read due to an epic prank war. That was awkward...

Anyways, I made it back finally and got to see a bunch of the kids I grew up with graduate. That was fun. Best Friend and I were rehashing all the crying we did same time last year. It seems very dumb now....

Small town, we meet again

Rule number one about small towns: You can't get away with anything.

Example A: Due to the epic prank war, my car read "Just Married" when I returned home, due to lack of motivation to previously clean. Bad idea. So far I've only been questioned by a few, but I am positive that there is more to come.

One bonus to small towns is the lack of door locking need. Except that I keep forgetting about that part.

Also, no one really cares when people predict the end of the world. I half expected one of the graduation speakers to mention it ("We survived high schoool AND the end of the world! Yay us!"), but no such luck. Everyone here just assumes that life goes on and nothing ever changes.

Which brings me to something else. Best Friend and I were talking about how last year when we graduated and said good bye and cried lots and lots. Now it seems really dumb. We're obviously still here...

Of packing and finals and the lack of lettuce

1. It's time to go home. SBU is officially out of lettuce. Crazy stuff. Also sad. My sandwich was lacking.

2. Finals=done. Finished, doninated, over, owned.

3. Car=half packed. We have to "put the furiture in it's original place," which is NOT cool. For starters, I never saw the room originally, by the time I got there it was full of people and stuff. Apparently we have to separate the beds onto their respective walls, and put the desks in the middle. However, in order to do that, we have to get all of our STUFF out of the way. That was interrupeted by my having to work for three hours. Which usually isn't a big problem, but since I'm done with finals, I have nothing to study! Didn't think that one through...

Mycardiedmycardiedmycardied

My car doesn't like starting. I dunno why, starting is just not on Joe's list of favorite things.

On the bright side, thanks to Joe being dumb, I met a nice old lady today. Why, you ask? Because I had to cut around the back of the Wellness Center to save time. Behind said Wellness Center is real life stuff. you know, houses, and people and stuff. Anyways, there was a nice old lady gardening in her back yard with her husband and super cute grandson. They were nice.

I hope I can get home.

Did I mention I hate good byes?

I mean, I know I'll see most of these people again in a few months, but not all of them. And a few months is a long time.

Roommate and I haven't even started cleaning yet. Blech. We were going to do it this morning, really we were, but then we remembered we had lives that didn't have anything to do with cleaning, so we went for it. Perhaps it'll happen tonight.

We also have to consume everything in the fridge so that we can defrost it. Sad day.

What does one get for grad gifts?

The theme of Zecheriah has something to do with "The Kingdom is Coming."

Summer Intern is getting to my house today. I don't get to my house til Friday. Humph.

Ilikelistsalongwithattiteration

1. If you can read the title, I applaud you.
2. Since falling in the river, the battery life on my phone is cut severely. I'd tell you how much, but I can't do math.
3. Speaking of math, I currently have 89.8% in that class, which means I actually have to do well on the final to get an A.
4. I'm going to get a B in Algebra.
5. EVERYthing possible went on tonight. At the same time. You think I'm kidding, there was 5 things alone that I was aware of, and no one tells me anything.
6. Apparently someone, at sometime, in Malaysia has read this blog.
7. I don't even think I spelled that right, but give me some awesome points anyways.
8. I can't remember what I need to buy at Walmart.
9. I'm for rizzle going to miss my Old Testament class.
10. My roommate is totes legit.
11. Don't ever let me say "totes" again.
12. I need some random ideas, so feel free to send some my way.
13. My brother just started his THIRD blog.
14. Does that make me lame or awesome for only having one?
15. That was not a list point...
16. I am a terrible writer/blogger
17. Despair.
18. Refer to #15
19. I like it here.
20. You should refer all of your friends to this blog. I dunno why, just do it.
21. Do it, or I will kill you.
22. It's finals week.
23. I like the color green
24. I don't understand my best friend.
25. Insanity is not a medical condition, it is a legal term.
26. Roommate and I are working on a YouTube channel!
27. It's gonna be AWESOME.

Record!

Today I am setting a blogging record for most consecutive days with a post.

*drumroll please*

I have now gone from one...to two.

Feel free to squeal in excitement, dance around, and maybe mail me a pizza. One or all are acceptable.

Yay!

At this point you've all probably quit reading this ridiculous post, but I'm going to keep going anyway, in order to make you all feel like you've missed something awesome. Which you have.

Ramblerambleramble

I'm J K.

I forgot how allergic I am to Missouri. Like for reals. I think some people (probably the same persons that invented group projects) got together and said 'Hey! I've got a grEAt idea! What if we portioned off a portion of land and use that to contain every allergin known to mankind! We can even through in some random stuff that people may or may not be allergic to! That sounds like a grEAt idea!' and then a random member of the group decided to add his two cents, 'Guys! We could also hide all the meds in the random back corner of Walmart so that the allergic people who have puffy/watery eyes already have a rediculously IMPOSSIBLE time trying to find them!'

And then they all cheered and hugged and fist bumped and celebrated by eating cake.

(Related insertation: a girl in the hall just sneezed. See my point? It's not like I'm the only selfish person with allergies and I think you should all focus on and feel sorry for me because I'm the only one because I'm not. Make sense? Hopefully, but doubtful.)

Of lint rollers, rubber maids, and post it notes...

Packing is such a pain. Pain pain pain.

On the bright side, I found the sham that has eluded me ALL year. Yayyy

Aanywho, packing most of my life into the back of Joe makes me feel two ways: 1. Awesome and minimalistic. After all, I can fit everything into my car. This proves I'm not materialistic, right? Everyone should wish to be me. 2. Pathetic. Everything fits in my car. I'm going no where in life. I may as well become a professional hobo.

I like to deal in dramatic extremes.

I don't like packing, but when I have to I prefer to pack ahead of time. Nothing like being punctual and prepared. However, when you need the stuff you have to pack for life, that kind of becomes difficult.

Aaand we're done.

Once upon a time...

there were three girls names Me, Friend 1, and Friend 2. They were all very annoyed with certain members of the male species and decided that the best way to get back at them would be to start their own nunnery. (Yes, they realize that it's usually called a convent, but nunnery is also acceptable. Plus, it's so much more fun to say.) This was not going to be just any nunnery, however. This nunery would be Baptist, and all the nuns would wear jeans. They would laugh and sing and play games all day. No men would ever be allowed in, on account of the creepiness the nuns had encountered. The nuns however could come and go as they pleased, provided that they didn't disclose their location or reveal their true identities. They were also free to depart and get married, as long as it was to a non-creepy man. They all lived long, happy, productive lives.

This may sound extreme, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.

Is the image of God good enough for us?

I'm taking a mission trip to the Pineridge Indian Reservation with my school this summer. Today in our meeting we were discussing the packing list. We (specifically girls) are supposed to wear loose pants, oversized t-shirts, and no makeup. In the words of Mission Leader's Son, "If they can tell you're a woman, it's not allowed." The reasoning behind this is the Lakota have respect for modesty, and it's also a matter of procaution/protection. I think we're going to have to do some thrift store shopping. Not because we all dress like skanks, but, let's be real, even whilst wearing t-shirts and men's shorts you know we're women. Even our grungy/comfy clothes probably don't fit these standards.

As girls, our first reaction was something along the lines of...'No makeup? That's sounds gross, and horrid, and...' Why? Because from age 5 on, all society has told us is that you can't possibly be beautiful, presentable, or acceptable if you don't wear makeup all the time and dress exactly like they tell you to. It simply isn't possible.

Or is it?

If you think about it, the world is a pretty messed up place. The people in it are wrong about a lot of things, so could they be wrong about this as well?

Genesis 1:27 says that God created us in His image.

It doesn't get any better than that. Plain and simple. We can ignore it, cover it with lies and fluff, and hide from it, but that doesn't change the fact.

You are created in God's image. He sent His only Son to die for YOU.

Why?

He thinks you're worth it.

Even when your friends, family, classmates, and random strangers look down on you or your abilities, you're still worth it. God created you for something bigger than the fickle approval of men. There is so much more to life that we Americans think. It's not about clothing, makeup or hairdye. It's about the free and fantasticness that Jesus offers. Because He thinks we're worth it. And He wants the best and most awesome for these value people that bear His image.

How much fuller and more effective would our lives be if we ignored society's call and accepted God's image as all we need?

Co-Mission Trip Leader made an awesome point when she said, "How can I sit there and tell a little Lakota girl that she is valued and beautiful the way she is when I don't honestly believe that about myself?"

Going against the flow would make so much more of an impact than looking like Barbies all. the. time.

I don't have a problem with makeup, dressing up, or looking cute. Far from it. I have a problem with those things having first priority in our lives. I have a problem when we can't run out the door to talk with or help someone with out first adding two more layers of makeup.

When did our appearance become more important than our God?

You don't need the stuff and fluff.

You are valued.

You are beautiful.

You are loved.

Mixed emotions at 12:23 am.

We are two weeks away from the end of school. This year has gone by really fast and really slow at the same time. It has been totally incredible, but I kind of feel like we are on a bomb timer or something. We only have four years to smoosh in as much fun, adventure, and quality time as possible. I'm ready to go home, to see my family, to make money, have a large closet, escape the drama, and to sleep. On the other hand, I'm not ready to say good bye to Taco Bell, my classes, my church here, or friends that have become like family.

At the beginning of this year I didn't know what would happen. I knew approxamately five people, didn't know how to take notes, and had no idea how everything was going to fit in our dorm room. I always imagined college being fun, but it has definitely exceeded expectations. I've met literally hundreds of wonderful people, gotten to know God on a whole new level, and learned how to calculate the last possible second I can get up in order to be places on time.

On a random note, since being here, my hair decided to change color.

I am both excited and a little afraid for this year to end. Excited, because there will be more people to connect with, and more opportunities next semester. Afraid, because some won't be returning, and I don't want to lose those relationships. Excited, because I get to go home and reconnect with everyone. Afraid, because I know they've all continued their lives just fine without me.

Also, I'm not sure my car will make it all the way home...

But I guess it doesn't matter what I think. The year is ending whether I want it to or not. No use dwelling on it, I suppose. After all...

Adventure is out there!

Habakkuk? Really?

In my mission team meetings we've been talking a lot about who we are, who we should be to the Lakota, and who we should be in Christ. Team Leader said that after the last trip he had a girl decide she wants to do teen suicide prevention. This girl is an English major. In the words of Team Leader, "English majors aren't supposed to do things like that! Redford majors are supposed to do things like that!" (Redford is the ministry majors here, FYI). Later he was talking about some things he was dealing with in his personal life and he said that God sent him a verse. In Habakkuk. Of all places. I think his mind was kind of blown, because he sounded incredulous. He said that he was headed for Romans, but God just cut him off and gave him something totally different. Which I think is totally cool.

The other day in small groups we were talking about how we tend to think that we don't need to give of our time and money NOW. We plan on it, just as soon as life slows down a little, or once (in our college student cases) we get jobs and steady paychecks.

I think both of these situations lead to an interesting place. So many times we think that someone need to do something, to change the world. Someone other than us. We can't do anything. We are ministry majors. We don't have high paying jobs and steady salaries. Someone else is going to have to do it for us. We'll stand on the side lines and cheer, we'll make a Facebook group/event to show our mediocre support, we may even casually mention it to a few friends. Just as long as we ourselves don't have to get in, get involved, and get messy.

Guess what? There are more non-ministry majors than there are ministry majors. Guess what else? The disciples were fishermen. Some of the prophets were farmers. Matthew worked for the IRS. Rahab was a prostitute. Every person God has ever used has been nothing but a human and a screw-up. Some of them were "ministry majors," and many of them weren't. Some of them were bigger than others.

Our majors, jobs, salaries (or lack thereof), familes, etc. should not determine our usefullness to God. It doesn't matter what stage of life you're in. You still have something to offer. You have something to give.

We expect great things out of people like Abraham and Paul.

Maybe it's time we started expecting great things out of people like Zephaniah and Habakkuk as well.

Maybe we should begin to expect it of ourselves.

Overgeneralization...

...it's one of those errors that we talked about in Critical Thinking. Not that I was listening. Overly. I was too busy freaking out the guy next to me. That happens a lot. Not my lack of listening, but my freaking people out. It's a gift. Or a curse, however you want to look at it. I'm just overwhelming.

Aaanyways, I have come to a realization. Athlete's are people too. That sounds terrible, but lemme 'splain. When I came to school I was told over and over, "Stay away from the athletes. Never date an athlete. They're only here for one thing. They don't care about anything but sports."

Surprise! It's not true! Over the past eight months I have encountered variaties of people. And some of the nerdy, normal, and boring people are much worse than some of the athletes. There are some in every crowd. But the more I've gotten to know people, the more I've lost sight of stereotypes. Some of the biggest God-lovers I know are big, buff football players. They have so much more knowledge and insight than most other people I know. It's quite awesome.

I had more, but I got distracted by Land Before Time. Sooo...yeah. Ciao!

To infinity and beyond!

Iiiit's Easter break. Yay! There are approxamately 53 people left on this campus. That I've seen. There's probably another 18 or so in hiding. And by in hiding I mean they haven't left their dorms all weekend. Which is what Roommate and I almost did today. We left to eat and go on a walk. She also took out the trash. With all of that, we've been out the door a combined total of 1 hour and 41 minutes. Give or take.

Yesterday, however, was quiiite exciting. Roommate went ninja, 3rd floor Friend was a pirate, and I was a super hero. I had men's Batman swimming trunks, rainboots, a black mask, and a blue towel cape. And it was awesome. We started our adventures by walking 3 blocks to a men's dorm and hanging out in the lobby. Then we decided it would be a good idea to go to Wendy's. So we did. Some little girls stared at us, and their father told us we were scary. We also had Random Maupin Man with us, he was dressed normally and documented the whole thing for us. The worker lady just looked at us and preceeded to give us student discounts. Then we went and hung out on one of the school signs by the highway, where we got very strange looks. T'was a rather good time.

I have no conclusion, I just thought I'd share our awesomeness with the world. As you were.

Read and React

I love alliteration. I was told that titles should always be capitalized. There you have it. Last week stunk. In just about every way, shape, and form. I honestly spent just about the whole time wallowing in the depths of dispair. I also contemplated quitting my major and becoming a librarian? Why? Because surely even I could handle a job like that. On second thought, I'd probably just catch the library on fire. I KNEW I should have just become an NFL referee. Speaking of which, boys like you a whole lot more when you agree to play Fantasy Football with them. Just saying. They probably won't like me as much once I start beating them. Assuming that there's a season this year. :( Ok, that was waaay off topic. All this to say that once I actually stopped to pray about the project I was working on (redoing for the fourth time, actually) it went fairly well. And I felt a whole lot better about myself and my life. But why didn't I do that in the first place? Because I had never had problems with this before. Because it had never been a big deal. Because I thought I was awesome and could handle it. Because I didn't think God would really be that interested in my temporary, stressed-out, college student problems. Then I was reminded, I'm kind of supposed to talk to Him about this stuff all the time. Because He does care, and He does have time. He is God, after all. Maybe if instead of freaking out, planning to run away to Brazil, or dragging my friends down with my negativity, I should just let Him take care of it. You'd think I'd know this by now. Apparently not. Which is a disappointment. But I guess...live and learn.

*Insert witty song title pertaining to topic*

College days is next weekend. Roommate and I are hosting a potential victim. I mean student. Student. Should be a good time. Although she insists that I take my awesome cemetary pictures off of our door ahead of time so as to avoid freaking out said student from the get go. I don't understand. I'm an expert, leave me to my trade. Welcome Week "training" was this morning. We didn't really train, they just told us how we shouldn't say anything negative about the school so as to coerce unsuspecting freshmen. That's kind of a paraphrase, but it was something to that effect. My fellow group leaders seem to be legit, thankfully. Roommate and I were afraid that we would get stuck with poopy co-workers, because that's usually what happens to us in group projects, class assignments, etc. I have nothing profound to say today. I just thought that on the off chance that someone reads this blog I should probably update it so as to retain interest. Over and out.

Real life?

When I and my friend graduated high school we were all pretty freaked out about starting "real life" out in the "real world." Ha. Now I'm sorry I wasted the energy on it, because it's just going to happen all over again in a few years. College is not real life. College is nice, safe, and tidy. College comes with premade food options three times a day. College comes with maintenance crews. College comes with security patrols. During the day our biggest worries are surviving classes. In the afternoons we are concerned with do we get naps, and just how long can we stay in the faculty parking lot before we get caught? In the evenings the biggest problem is Ihop or movie, and going to bed before three A.M. Somehow I don't think this is real life. Which is totally fine with me. If I could afford it I'd be tempted to become a "professional student." Because with real life comes difficulties and good byes. On a large scale. I realized as soon as I entered college that there will be nothing but weddings and good byes for the next several years (those two things aren't connected BTW). A few friends left last semester, and a few even better friends are leaving after this one. Sometimes I wonder what the point of the relationships is if they are never going to last. But I'm starting to realize that all these encounters make us who we are. Even the brief ones. Each person has something unique to bring to the table, a different take on life. It is these perspectives that keep life interesting. And I like interesting, so I guess I won't become a hermit after all.

April Fools? I don't think so.

I don't believe in April Fool's Day. Haven't in ten years. It's a little hard to goof around on a day that changed almost every life around me at the time. April 1, 2001 seems like a lifetime ago. But I still remember. I remember the phone call, being sent to a friend's house, the uncertainty, the trips, the world being turned upside down. April 1, 2001 was when I first began to really trust God. It was the first time in my young life that life went out of control, yet I somehow knew that He was there the whole time, keeping the world in line, if even by a thread. I still don't know why it had to happen. Maybe I'll never know. I don't think of Matthew often, but sometimes it's just brought back to me. He should be here. He should be my brother's best friend. They should be playing at the park, swimming in the pool together. He should be in the van when we go to church camp. He should be playing in the band or running around the field. But he's not. April first. It comes every year. And I'll always remember.

Who am I?

Did I just referance a good-but-super-overplayed-several-year-old-song in the title? Well yes, but not on purpose. I don't know about you, but do you ever realize that a message/sermon/etc. is meant just for you? Probably, but do you then feel bad because God has to spend His time correcting you instead of helping all the other people that are much cooler and/or more messed up than you? I do. I'm terrible, I'll admit it. I feel horrible because I think "Man, I hope that I wasn't the only one needing to hear that, because if I am, then all of these other nice people just wasted a whole lot of their time just for me to learn a lesson..." You think I'm kidding, but I'm not. Everything I've heard recently has been about identity. Church, chapel, hall Bible study, airplanes writing in the sky...ok, I made that last one up, but really. I feel bad that all these people have to spend all this time trying to teach me something I should already know. A few months ago I started to buy the lie that I have to prove myself to the world. I have to be good enough for everyone. I have to be good enough for God. Guess what? I can't! I know I wrote about this not too long ago, but it's an issue I'm still dealing with. I have friends that are prettier, more talented, and more athletic than I am. But that doesn't detract my value, especially in God's eyes. I just have to keep telling myself that. I don't even think that's proper grammar. I shouldn't be concerned about anyone's opinion of me but God's. And His opinion is filtered through the blood of Jesus. So who am I? I'm covered. And you can be, too.

Hi ho, Hi ho, it's back to school we go...

Spring Break was very nice and...breakful. Now we are back at school. It's always funky the first few days after coming back. You don't know what time to get up, what time to go to bed, or what to do with the free time you have due to a temporary slight lack of homework. And then there's those awkward moments when you see all of the people you know for the first time, and you're not sure if you can hug some of them or not. So you do a weird high-fivey thing. Or the awkward wave. Either works. But there are also those awesome adopted-family-reunion moments. Those are the entertaining ones. Every one hugs and exclaims and is smiley. And that's just the boys. They get really excited to see each other... Random insertation: Patrick just announced that he wants to start a church named "Saltwater"

I have nothing to say...

When I started this blog I was fully planning on updating it with awesomeness EVERY day so as to keep the world breathless in anticipation of what grand things I should type next. That obviously happened. I apologize, world for letting you down.

On the bright side, wall-mate discovered that a herd of rhinos is called a crash. I find that to be a completely appropriate name for our group of friends as well. If you met them, you'd understand. I do love them, in case you're wondering.

Not that anyone is reading this by now, but have a nice day!

Sunriiiise, Sunset...

Don't get me wrong. Sunsets are very nice things. I like them a lot. They are pretty and romantic and nice. Until you are assigned to take pictures of them. Then they are just lousy and evasive. I need a sunset picture for Photo I on Tuesday. The first half of the week it rained. Thursday the sun came out. Yay, right? Actually, the camera was in the roommate's car. Roommate did not know stated fact, and went elsewhere. Roommate also locked her keys in the car shortly thereafter, thus making camera retrival somewhat difficult. Friday night I was somewhere longer than expected, didn't have my car, and so did not get the camera until approximately 3 minutes after sundown. Frustration? Yes. Tonight I was bound and determined to get said picture. However, this campus is in THE worst possible location for doing so. There is sooo much stuff in the way. So I had to venture into the unknown parts of town, on about a gallon or two of gas, in hopes of catching the sun. I think I did, but hopefully they don't all end up blurry due to lack of tripod. We shall see what we shall see. However, do not expect me to get excited about the vanishing of the sun anytime soon. The end.

Return of the blog

I fail.

I stink at blogging. I'm even worse at math. I can't sing. I don't make my bed. My roommate takes better pictures than I do. I stapled myself the other day. I finished an assignment 13 minutes before it was due and forgot part of it. I don't have a boyfriend. I forget to cover brownies and they go stale. I use "weak construction" in my essays. I spill things. I drop my phone all the time. I hardly ever wear makeup. I forget to text people back. I put off doing dishes and cleaning out the fridge. I get annoyed with people over little things. I never know what day it is. I have cheesey ideas for group projects. I don't eat vegetables. I own too many shoes. I spend too much money. I have never run a mile in less than 11 minutes.

I fail.

But you know what?

It's ok.

I can't do it.

But God can.

He giveth power to the faint; and to them that have no might he increaseth strength. Isaiah 40:29

He gives me the ability to move on with life after bad grades, breakups, blowups, messes, and everything else I get myself into.

On my own, I'm never good enough.

I have nothing to offer.

Fear thou not; for I am with thee: be not dismayed; for I am thy God: I will strengthen thee; yea, I will help thee; yes, I will uphold thee with the right hand of my righteousness. Isaiah 41:10

Good thing I'm not on my own.

Because me + God is always enough.

Snow the second

I feel like I should tell you something.

I do not like snow.

Yes, I said it. It needed to be said, judging by how many of the kids at school are all like, "when we get back you are going to play in the snow with me yayyy"

To that I say, "How about we watch a nice movie while wearing Snuggies and drinking hot chocolate?"

Do that not sound more enjoyable?

I know you are wondering how in the world anyone could not like snow. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I get cold very easily. Maybe it has to do with the fact that I dislike muddy slush. Or maybe it has to do with all of those times I've gone to work at 5:50 am and had to clean my car off. Regardless, I am just not a fan of snow.

I think it is very nice when it is falling. It's even nice for about an hour or two after it's on the ground. After that, however, it can just disappear. No cold. No slush. No car cleaning. No fish tailing. No.

I am a big fan of spring, summer and fall. Just not winter.

Lemme say it one more time for emphasis...

I do not like snow.

Snow.

For the record, any typos are due to the fact that my keyboard is being wonky.

We have three inches of snow. Which is much better than the nine that I thought we were supposed to get, but we really weren't. In my humble opinion, snow is nice for about 90 minutes. After that, give me some hot chocolate and bring on spring.

"There are five wraiths behind you. Where the other four are, I do not know."

Thermal shirts are my favorite..

I am currently sitting at home alone with a Mt. Dew and some super cool green socks. My entire family has been abducted by aliens and they are currently negotiating with the government for the nation's supply of cheese balls.

This morning I had to work super early. As I was about to leave, I heard the front door open and close, and it freaked me out until I realized it was just the newspaper guy. Then when I left, his car was across the street, still running, with the lights on, but he wasn't in it. Which was also frightening. I almost thought I was going to die, but then he came back from the other house whose paper he was delivering and drove away. Long story short, I did not die.

Two Thousand Eleven? Twenty Eleven?

Who decides these things? I don't even know...

2010 was over all a rather nice year. Oh wait, there were those three weeks when I had a second job...I almost forgot about that...not a good experience, for sure.

Aaanyway, I don't even remember most of last year...I got to watch most of my childhood friends graduate from highschool, had my first boyfriend, started college, and drove through KC by myself. Good times. I met a lot of amazing people, and a few not so...

My new year's resolution is: Facebook all the time. Stay up way too late. Get yelled at for breaking quiet hours. Have random adventures.

Just keepin' it real.